A winning idea
Happy Everything * Everywhere * to Everyone
by Anita Domnitz, RN, MS, ND
Why not? Sounds like a winning idea to me! If we could all agree to that statement right now this article would be done. How about it? Something holding you back? Let me guess… some unfinished business; a little resentment perhaps; maybe a grudge or two; how about some envy, jealousy or guilt?
What would it take for all of us to get there? Any ideas? It seems to me it would involve that big, beautiful concept of FORGIVENESS. In the book, Tuesdays with Morrie, by Mitch Albom, Morrie says, forgive everybody everything right now! When I read that it had a riveting effect on me. For me that was the most important principle of the entire story. I realized that not only would that provide a great benefit for the other person, but it would free me up as well.
Free me up –YES, exactly. I would be free from carrying around emotions that are not in any way serving my spirit. In place of those negative feelings I could fill that space with love, happiness, laughter, freedom, relaxation. Nice exchange, don’t you agree?
My parents and I were participants in the first Angel Care Caregivers Retreat in 1999. My brother, Jeff, had passed on after a 10-year experience with bone cancer. As happens in many families when someone is dealing with cancer, there is frequent crisis within the family. My brother was 27 when he was diagnosed and the shock was devastating to our very close family. During that crisis, family members often took out their anger and frustration, born of helplessness, on one another. What resulted was resentment among several members of the family. Jeff passed on but the resentment remained and festered.
Our leader, Sally Fisher, told us that resentment was like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. WOW!! I had never looked at resentment as being toxic for me! If I had an issue with someone I also had an issue with myself. Who wants to take poison? Neither my parents nor I had ever viewed resentment in those terms before. It was an epiphany for me and for that I am truly grateful.
A band called Cowboy Mouth has written a song entitled Let It Go, Let It Go, Let It Go. I recommend that anyone who is stuck in any negative emotional state listen to that song and sing along with the chorus. It can be quite an exhilarating release and catalyst to moving on. That’s right everybody, let it go and move on! We don’t easily forget our past traumas but we can learn to forgive them.
If resentment is poison, forgive-ness is the antidote. How do we acquire that antidote? We can’t buy it at our neighborhood pharmacy or hospital. It must come from within. That can be a challenging situation. We may need some assistance. Talking it out with a trusted friend, clergy member, therapist or group is a good start. Journaling ones feelings to release them from the body is another. Remember, the issues are in the tissues. Emotions are not just in the mind. Emotions are in every cell in our body. I strongly believe that if we do not release negative emotion it will eventually manifest as disease in the body.
Doing some form of consistent physical activity exercises body and mind, releases endorphins for well-being, establishes new behavior patterns and eliminates stinkin’ thinkin’. Eating high water content foods (fruits and vegetables), organic proteins, whole sprouted grains, drinking good water, eliminating refined sugar and flour will assist the body in feeling relaxed and less stressed.
Communing with nature to realize that true beauty surrounds us and is free to us in the trees, oceans, mountains, flowers and valleys. Listening for the music of life in the sounds of instruments, voices, nature and in the quiet is calming and centering. There are hundreds of ways to foster forgiveness. Begin your own list and keep it available when unwanted emotions surface and interfere with your life.
Acknowledging and giving loving attention to feelings of anger, jealousy, hurt, envy, etc. is vital in the healing process. These emotions are all parts of us. We need them for survival and to learn about ourselves and others. We also all possess an inner critic that can be brutal on others and ourselves. Don’t play the blame game at home, work or play. A key factor in forgiveness is forgiving ourselves!
Please, please, please remember to forgive yourself. We are all human and sometimes we make choices that are not in the best interest of ourselves or others. Learn the lessons associated with your choices and move on with insight and empathy. Rev. Gene Ferrara, of Madison, teaches: find the gift – there is always a gift! That gift could be something as easy as being more aware of what you say or do. Mystic and teacher, Sai Baba, says that before we speak we should ask ourselves, Is it gentle, kind, intelligent, and does it add to the silence? I love that one!
Just imagine if everyone for-gave everyone for everything everywhere. What a wonderful world it would be. Ta Da! War would not exist. Without war we would be happy to help one another to prosper, to be fed, clothed, and sheltered. We would really care what happens to our fellow world citizens and our environment. What a beautiful world it would be. Could we really do it? Would we really do it? When?
There is something that is as abundant and as important as the sun is to sustain life. That something is GRATITUDE. When we are in a constant state of gratitude we are not judging or grudging. We are manifesting thoughts of appreciation and love. Remember that we become our thoughts. Do you want to be an angry one or a loving one? There is no greater power on earth than the power of love. It heals both the heart and the head. Love feeds the compassionate wisdom of the soul and makes it smile with genuine positive regard for ourselves and one another. Go forth and forgive and prosper in gratitude, peace and love. Happy Everything, Everywhere, To Everyone.
Anita Domnitz is a psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, and naturopathic doctor in private practice in Milwaukee, WI. Her specialties include personal development, empowerment coaching, nutrition, weight and wellness, and Bach flower remedies. “Nita” is on the Board of Directors of AOMS. The opinions expressed here are her own. She welcomes comments and questions, 414-276-5265.
